


Chocolate Frogs

by IhaveAbadfeelingAboutThis



Series: Pray Boldly [2]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Smut, Hogwarts, Light Bondage, M/M, M/M/M, Multi, Valentine's Day, secret admirers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:27:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22653973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IhaveAbadfeelingAboutThis/pseuds/IhaveAbadfeelingAboutThis
Summary: "Albus Dumbledore was the most powerful wizard alive, blindingly intelligent, respected by all but the envious, and, in his early 40s, still adorably oblivious to the admiration of his students. That is, his obliviousness was adorable at all times except for Valentine’s Day."Theseus thinks that he needs to protect Albus from his many misguided 'secret admirers.' (Amortentia?! Cornish Pixies?! Exploding Glitter?!)Gellert thinks that Albus could benefit from some natural consequences - and that Theseus could benefit from lightening up.
Relationships: Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald/Theseus Scamander
Series: Pray Boldly [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1629496
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12
Collections: Hallows Server Valentine's Exchange 2020





	Chocolate Frogs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Candyphoenix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Candyphoenix/gifts).



> A gift for [ Candyphoenix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Candyphoenix/pseuds/Candyphoenix)  
> As part of the Hallows Discord Server Valentine's Exchange 2020  
> I love you lots, Candyphoenix! I am not sure if this is what you were looking for with the prompts 'chocolate' and 'secret admirer', but I do hope that you like it <3
> 
> With many thanks to the wonderful [Carapheonix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carapheonix/pseuds/Carapheonix), who was my first reader and cheerleader on this fic - I might not have had the courage to release this fic (and indeed this triad) into the wild without your encouragement.
> 
> And finally - if you looked at the series name and were mystified, you can find an explanation in the notes on the first work in the series.

**14 February 1917**

Theseus woke up to Gellert nibbling on his shoulder.  
“Whyyyyy…. It’s toooo early….”  
“It is not! I have been waiting for you for half an hour already.”  
Gellert pushed tightly up against Theseus.  
“Feel that? I don’t want to wait any longer.”

“Where’s Albus?”  
“This is insulting. I am here, my cock is here, your arse is here, and you want to know where is Albus?”

Theseus rolled over and kissed Gellert. “I’m sorry, darling. I promise to turn my focus all back to you in a moment, but I need to know where Albus is, because it is Valentine’s Day.”  
“Already? Oh, no.”  
“Oh. Yes.”

“You promise you will not leave before – never mind.” Gellert sat up with his back against the headboard and ran his hand through his hair. “We are getting out of bed, clearly. Albus has already left for the castle.”  
Theseus propped himself up on one elbow. “Oh gods.”

“I never would have let him leave if I had remembered…”  
Theseus groaned. “Gellert! How is it you lose track of time like this?”  
“Valentine’s Day is not even a real holiday! This sort of hormonal frenzy I associate with Floralia, which is not for another… 10 weeks?”

“Oh yes, nudity and sex with random strangers in the woods. That is just the sort of holiday for a boarding school full of teenagers who are obsessed with our idiot husband. Let’s not forget their outsized confidence in their dangerously inadequate grasp of the dubious art of brewing love potions. Floralia, absolutely. I’ll be sure to recommend it to the Board of Governors, along with parading behind a giant phallus on the equinox.”

“There’s no need to be sarcastic, Theseus. You asked…”  
Theseus straddled Gellert and shut his mouth with a kiss. “You’re right. I did ask. I’m sorry, Love. I’m – really frustrated right now. I want -”  
Gellert reached down to stroke Theseus’ cock and Theseus groaned.  
“Oh my – you certainly do. Look how hard you are, Love! You can’t get out of bed like this! Let me take care of you?”

Theseus was throbbing with need, and Gellert’s hand felt so good –  
What could it hurt to catch up with Albus after breakfast? Surely there was time to…  
Theseus felt the cool wet of the lubricating charm and gasped.  
“Gellert!”

With his other hand, Gellert began gently exploring Theseus’ hole. He nipped at Theseus’ shoulder, and Theseus moaned.  
“That’s it, Love. Ready for another?”  
“Yes! Yes please, Gellert! Need you!”

Less than a minute after Gellert had added the second finger, Theseus was already pulling Gellert’s hand away impatiently, lifting himself up, and grabbing hold of Gellert’s cock, lining him up.  
“Now,” he growled.  
Gellert held onto Theseus' arse with both hands, and held his gaze for a moment before breaching him. Theseus cried out - a shout that extended into a long moan as he sank onto Gellert's cock.

When Gellert was fully seated, he held Theseus there, unmoving, and kissed him. Theseus struggled in his strong hold and pulled his mouth away long enough to complain – “Let me move, you arse!”  
Gellert laughed, relaxed his hold, and bucked up into him. “Of course! What is stopping you?”

Sex with Gellert was like being picked up by a sentient tornado. In less than a minute, Theseus had almost no agency, but was just swept along – he could only follow Gellert’s lead. One position? No, three at least. Four. Five. Theseus had no idea where they were going, and he liked it that way. For once, he was not responsible, not in control.  
Theseus was astonished he had made it through life as long as he had without Gellert to ambush him and drag him away, make him forget all about standing sentry. He was free of – everything – when he was with Gellert, in a way that he wasn’t at any other time.

And sometimes – _sometimes_ – that feeling might last for as much as ten or fifteen minutes after they finished. Or, if he was very lucky, they might exhaust themselves, and fall back asleep tangled up in one another – and when that happened, Theseus might even find himself languidly running his fingers along Gellert’s skin upon waking – still pleasantly occupied only by _this man here_.

Other times, like this day, that feeling of liberation lasted for approximately ninety seconds after Gellert withdrew.

“Oh, gods! Albus!”  
“Getting us confused already, Theseus? You are too young for –“  
“Shut up, Gellert.” Theseus tumbled out of bed onto the floor. Gellert rolled to the edge and peered down at him.  
“Not able to walk yet, Love? Perhaps I should take the first shower.”  
Theseus groaned. “Fiiiine.”  
Gellert laughed. “I love you.”  
Theseus looked up at Gellert with one raised eyebrow.  
“Do you ever tell me that when we are not fucking?”

Gellert got out of bed and pulled Theseus up to standing, then he helped him back into bed. Theseus felt Gellert’s hand trailing down his spine, followed by his tongue taking the same course in reverse. Theseus shuddered.

“Ngaaaa! Still sensitive, Gellert… “  
“Sorry – I couldn’t resist. You are beautiful.”  
“Pleeeease resist - ”

Gellert sighed deeply, as if too much was being demanded of him.  
“As you wish. You have five minutes to pull yourself together enough to shower. We have to go rescue Albus, right?”  
“Right.”

But by the time they arrived at Hogwarts to check on Albus, it was too late. He had already consumed several pieces of chocolate from a ‘secret admirer’ – who had dosed him with Amortentia.

It was immediately obvious what had happened, because Albus was annoyed to see the two of them: ‘Go away! I am busy!’  
What was he busy doing? Composing a love song for the Hufflepuff Quidditch captain.

Theseus and Gellert escorted Albus home. They moved his things into the guest room (since he wasn't much interested in either of them at the moment), and together warded the front door against him. It would only serve to baffle him briefly if he decided to set out to find the object of his affection, but hopefully it would buy them enough time to redirect him before he escaped.  
“Gellert is going to go to the Headmaster and arrange leave for you. You need as many uninterrupted hours as you can get, if you are going to write the perfect song.”  
“How long do I have?”  
“A week.”

Theseus hoped it would wear off that quickly. Usually it did. A lot depended on exactly how much of the tainted chocolate Albus had eaten.  
“A week! I could write an opera.”

And he did. Albus ignored Gellert and Theseus for a week, ensconced in the music room, where he spent his time writing two acts of grand sweeping music supporting beautifully constructed poetry inspired by a 16 year old boy of indifferent appearance and slightly below average intelligence. Gellert confiscated it just as Albus was coming out of his haze, before it could be destroyed.  
It had become a tradition for Theseus and Gellert to perform parts of it on February 13th, as a sort of cautionary tale. Not that it appeared to have any effect. Albus continued to believe that his students were well-meaning to the last child.

It was more than a month before Theseus would consent to have sex with Gellert again – he felt so guilty for having left Albus unguarded.  
"If I hadn't put myself before Albus -"  
“You get to have needs, Darling. And anyway, it is not our fault! It is that ridiculous boy’s fault for potioning Albus. And it is perhaps a little bit Albus’ fault for eating candy of unknown provenance. Albus is a grown up, and it is his job to look after himself."  
After this most recent disaster, ‘Albus is a grown up’ seemed to Theseus to be a dubious assertion.

Gellert, frustrated and frozen out by both of his husbands, had marched up to the school and somehow (it was probably better not to know how exactly) terrified the young man in question, persuading him to finish out his education at Beauxbatons. He had already left Hogwarts before Albus returned.

**February 14, 1923**

“Love…” Theseus heard Gellert’s voice distantly. Perhaps he was just dreaming? He rolled over, wrapping the blanket more firmly around him.  
“My darling…”  
“Huuuh?”  
“THESEUS!!!”  
Theseus’ eyes shot open, and he saw that – he was alone in bed. He rolled back over.

“Gellert? What are you…? Why are you not in bed? Why are you dressed? Where is Albus?”  
“I am out of bed because it is 7:45, and I am needed at the DMLE. Albus is downstairs, getting ready to go over to the Great Hall for breakfast, and it is Valentine’s Day. If you had not been up half the night learning cuneiform…”

Theseus had had a basic introduction to cuneiform years ago, and had always meant to pick it up in earnest… and yesterday Albus had brought home a…  
“He did it on purpose!”  
“What?”  
“Albus – giving me that book! He was trying to make me miss Valentine’s Day!”  
Gellert hummed thoughtfully and looked over his shoulder towards the bedroom door.

“Yes, yes,” Theseus said impatiently, “It is very attractive what a manipulative bastard he can be. If only he were half so perceptive when it came to his students!”  
“Don’t pretend you don’t like it when he outwits you.”  
“I _love it_ when he outwits me, but not if it affects his safety.”  
“He will be fine. Albus is always fine. Perhaps you should take the day off this year.”

“The love potion –“  
“Lasted for a week, and then he was back to himself again.”  
Theseus pushed himself up onto his knees and punched the pillow a couple of times in frustration, before climbing out of bed.

Gellert’s eyes were drawn to Theseus’ cock, so hard it was going to be uncomfortable to put on his trousers.  
“Oh my. Do you need some… _help_ with that?”  
Theseus sighed. “Not if I’m on Albus duty.”

Gellert grabbed Theseus and pulled him close. “You are a good husband. Not good to yourself though, I think.”  
Gellert began pumping Theseus’ cock. He groaned, “Fuck, Gellert – you know I can’t –“  
Theseus pulled away. “I hate that it isn’t earlier in the morning.”  
“Me too. Now it is your turn to get dressed, I suppose. If you are so committed to keeping our favourite husband safe.” Gellert slapped Theseus lightly on the arse and pushed him towards the wardrobe.

“I thought I was the favourite,” Theseus teased.  
“You can be favourite tomorrow,” Gellert said with a wink. “Today it is Albus’ turn to be favourite, your turn to keep him out of trouble, and my turn to do… whatever it is I’m doing at the Ministry.”

It had not taken long for Gellert to charm everyone at the Ministry into trusting him, and now he was in dangerously high demand. Magical Law Enforcement had him profiling today, if Theseus remembered correctly.  
Gellert was still working only on a consulting basis, because the Department of Mysteries and the DMLE both wanted him desperately, and the rift that would result if he became the employee of either department - or of some third department for that matter… It was a good thing Gellert was no longer interested in destroying the Ministry, because it would be very easy to do. It would only require saying yes to one of his two standing job offers.  
Being indispensable had turned out to be a far better strategy than violent overthrow – Theseus gave it about three more years before Gellert was the shadow governor of all Wix Britain.

“Can you stay a bit longer, please, Gellert? Do whatever you have to to keep Albus here while I do a preliminary sweep of the school?”  
“Whatever I have to?” Gellert asked in a mischievous voice.  
Theseus, trousers on, shirt still unbuttoned, walked over to Gellert and kissed him deeply. As he pulled away, he dragged his hand slowly up Gellert’s clothed cock, then grabbed it and squeezed. He licked Gellert’s jaw.  
“Whatever. You have to.”

Gellert ran his fingers down Theseus’ still exposed chest and fingered the top button of his trousers thoughtfully. He looked up and smiled. “To be continued, Darling.”  
Then he ran down the stairs, leaving Theseus to finish dressing without distraction.

Albus Dumbledore was the most powerful wizard alive, blindingly intelligent, respected by all but the envious, and, in his early 40s, still adorably oblivious to the admiration of his peers, the wizarding public in general, and perhaps most of all, his students. That is, his obliviousness was adorable at all times except for Valentine’s Day. As one of the youngest professors on staff, an attentive teacher, very good-looking, and ostensibly single, Professor Dumbledore received more gifts and notes from secret admirers than all of the other professors combined.

Theseus had chuckled about it the first couple of years that he and Albus were together, but then came the year when Albus was blinded by glitter exploding out of a note from one of these secret admirers. He had spent three days in the infirmary having his vision restored. So, the following Valentine’s Day, Theseus monitored Albus’ mail, office, classroom, and place at the faculty table. Discovering a cake glazed with a misbrewed love potion that would have turned Albus into a parakeet, Theseus became convinced that protecting Albus from his ‘secret admirers’ needed to become an annual event.

He enlisted a couple of trusted students every year to tail Albus in the hallways and ensure that nothing passed directly from another student into Albus’ hands. Over the course of ten years, he and his student spies had intercepted twelve love potion laced boxes of chocolates, a box of unstable fireworks, and two very lewd animated drawings of Albus... having his way with a couple of seventh year students. If those had been discovered by the wrong person... Theseus wondered if Albus would have been fired. His students just didn't seem to have any idea of the _consequences_ that their gifts could have for Albus - and their fellow students, sometimes.

For instance, there had been the student that Theseus had found just as she was getting ready to release a swarm of Cornish Pixies in the Great Hall. She had somehow been under the misapprehension that she had _trained them_ so that they would form the letters “I love you Professor Dumbledore” in midair. Never mind that Cornish Pixies are notoriously intractable. Even Newt would not have attempted to get them to fly in formation.

Love poems were fine. Flowers, fine. Small gifts of scented ink or a book – a bit presumptuous, but fine. Candy… candy was mostly fine, so long as it was not tampered with, but Theseus routinely confiscated about three-quarters of it to be doled out later, lest Albus make himself ill.  
It wasn’t so much that he was undisciplined as that he was absent minded – if there was something on the desk in arm’s reach, he could eat it without even knowing he was doing it.  
Something sugary, anyway. Theseus had put a dish of blackberries on his desk once to test the theory that it could be anything, but Albus hadn’t touched them. In a strange way, this was a relief. He never had to worry about Albus absentmindedly eating a jar full of beetle’s eyes or something.

Theseus went up to the owlery and cast the spell that allowed him to screen Albus’ mail. Everything was given back to their respective owls but a bouquet of flowers that included several dormitabis buds that looked ready to bloom. Theseus vanished them immediately. If Albus had kept them even three hours, he might have been put to sleep for a week. Worse, if the flowers had bloomed in his classroom when class was in session…

Theseus considered that he would much prefer for Gellert to handle Valentine’s duty – he would hunt down each and every offender and make them very sorry for their carelessness.

Next he went to the Great Hall, where he cleared a glass off the table that had been painted on the inside with Amortentia. He went to Albus’ classroom. Already there were three anonymous love poems there, and one drawing of Albus dueling – ‘from a secret admirer’ - all perfectly harmless. Finally, he checked Albus’ office, which was, as expected, clear.

Theseus went back up to the owlery. He thought of sending an owl down to their cottage to let Gellert know that the coast was clear – but he imagined that would not be welcomed. Certainly, Theseus would have been annoyed to be interrupted if he had been the one… _distracting_ Albus.  
Albus would come along when Gellert was through with him. Theseus took a shaky breath. He was going to be imagining the possibilities all day. Perhaps he could get one of them to show him in the Pensieve later.

He shook off these thoughts. Right now, he needed not to be distracted. There was work to do. He disillusioned himself and stationed himself in Albus’ classroom. He watched as Albus arrived, then the children. He cast a light Confundus on a child who looked like she was about to put something on Albus’ desk. It was _probably_ harmless, but he didn’t want Albus touching anything he had not inspected.

Throughout the entire lesson, fully ¾ of the girls and a handful of the boys followed Albus' every move with a glazed over, lust-addled gaze. Not that Albus was likely to have noticed _at all_. It would have been comical if the poor children had not been so sincere. Theseus wondered if the school shouldn't just cancel classes on Valentine’s Day, for all the work that got done. Call a holiday for snogging in broom closets.

As the children were leaving, Theseus noticed that one student had left a folded parchment boat on their desk. Once the last student had shut the door behind them, he walked over and checked it discreetly to make sure that it was safe…  
Albus called out to him, “Satisfied, Theseus? Are you quite sure that bit of origami isn’t lethal?”  
Theseus lifted the charm and walked over to Albus.

“How did you know?”  
“Where else would you be?”  
“And –“  
“And Gellert’s cologne.”  
The scent did seem to insinuate its way into Theseus’ and Albus’ clothing. It was a good thing that there was little call for field work in Theseus’ new position.

Albus kissed him good morning. He tasted of pumpkin juice. Theseus smiled at him and leaned in to kiss him again, but Albus pushed on his chest, holding him at a little distance.  
"What are you doing here, Theseus?"  
"It's Valentine's Day. Can I not visit my husband on Valentine's Day?"  
Albus raised one eyebrow, skeptically. Both of them knew why Theseus was there.

Theseus handed him the boat. “I believe this is yours. From a not-so-secret admirer.”  
“Ah, yes. That was Ms. Greengrass’ desk. I could have told you…”  
“That she has no real feelings for you, yes.”  
Albus rolled his eyes.  
“Every year, Theseus! It’s ridiculous! You don’t have to do this you know. The students –“

“Have no real interest in you? It’s just a harmless bit of fun? Certainly, they would never dose you with a love potion, or blind you with glitter. Obviously.”  
“That was one time!”  
“Each. One time _each_. And don’t forget all of the other indignities I’ve spared you. In just ten years, you would have been infatuated with thirteen more students without my intervention.”  
“I thought you had said it was twelve.”  
“One more this morning. Honestly, Albus. Do you know how many of the students here fantasize about you? I'll tell you - nearly every single student that is attracted to men at all. It's dangerous. You need to stop thinking that you are nothing special and start paying attention.”

“You’re not jealous are you?”  
Theseus laughed. “Not at all.” Then he thought better of it. “Unless… what does being jealous get me?”  
“Not much in ten minutes.”

Albus sat on the desk, grabbed Theseus’ coat, and pulled him in closer. Oh, how Theseus loved him. Craved him. He reached out – and Albus smacked his hand.  
“Don’t you dare take my hair down right before class!”  
“It looks good down.”  
“Thank you for saying so, but that doesn’t change that it isn’t very practical for dueling, and my NEWT students are next.”  
Theseus sighed. “Alright. I can leave your hair alone – for now.”

He came closer and closer to Albus, stopping just short of his lips to notice Albus’ closed eyes, his mouth already slightly open in anticipation. Theseus laughed. “I love you,” he breathed into Albus’ mouth before sealing their lips together.

When their lips met, Theseus forgot all about being gentle and not mussing Albus up before class.  
His tongue slid along Albus’ and he put one hand on the back of Albus’ head, in an attempt to press their mouths yet more tightly together. He was hungry for Albus. He hadn’t seen him since dinner the night before, and he missed him, missed everything about him. He tore at Albus’ coat with one hand and moved his other hand down to Albus’ arse, pressed his hardening cock against Albus’…  
Albus broke away to gasp, and whine, “Theseus –“

Theseus took the opportunity to lick and suck on Albus’ neck, making Albus moan. But then Albus pushed Theseus away _again_. Theseus groaned in frustration. “Albus, you’re killing me – “  
“I’m at work, Theseus. We do not have time for this. If you marked me, you need to fix it.”  
“I know how not to leave a mark right before class!” Theseus replied indignantly.  
“I know you _know how_. I just didn’t know if you managed to _remember_ this time.”  
Fair enough. But Albus looked fine, aside from his clothes being more rumpled than usual.

Theseus cast a quick spell, and Albus was back to looking perfectly professional. Except for those kiss swollen lips. Theseus sighed. He hated to ‘fix’ those, too, but… the students were dangerously attracted to their Professor as it was, without him looking like he had been snogging some mysterious someone. He waved his wand one more time, and Albus was looking exactly as he had when he had entered the classroom.

“Now,” said Albus with a stern voice that did not at all match his smile and his sparkling eyes. “You can go now. I am fine.”  
“Yes, dear,” Theseus answered, adding, “Oh! What a nice drawing! That’s rather well done, I think.”  
Albus swatted him. “Don’t pretend you hadn’t seen it already. You can take it with you. Together with these… poems. I’m sure Gellert will want to give us a dramatic reading tonight.”  
Theseus smiled. Gellert’s exaggeratedly lovesick expressions while reading the overwrought poetry and love letters of Albus' many secret admirers had become his favourite part of Valentine’s Day.  
“Yes, fine.”

“Go to work, like a normal person.”  
“Gellert says I may as well stay home – that all a Head Auror is needed for is signing paperwork.”  
“Gellert also says that people should Imperio their three-year olds when out in public so that he won’t be subjected to the noise of their tantrums. _Go to work_ , Theseus.”  
Theseus rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes. Have a good day, Professor.”  
Theseus went up to the Astronomy Tower. He had a meeting up there with his student spies in half an hour anyway.

This seemed to be a less eventful Valentine’s Day than usual. Other than the tainted juice glass that Theseus had found at breakfast, there had been no love potions. The dormitabis flowers were almost certainly an accident. Nothing untoward had happened in the hallways. There were quite a lot of letters and poems this year, but nothing that was in any way dangerous. Theseus had made a quick sweep of the Great Hall prior to lunch, and all looked to be normal there as well.

After the students were all gathered in the Great Hall for lunch, Theseus decided to head to Albus’ classroom one last time, to see if any secret admirers had taken advantage of the classroom being empty in order to deliver something.  
When he arrived at Albus’ classroom, he immediately had the feeling that something wasn’t quite right. It ought to have been empty at this hour, but there was noise coming from inside. He opened the door and was greeted by the sight of chocolate frogs – thousands of them. They were hopping everywhere – climbing the walls, bouncing off desks and each other, leaving streaks of chocolate behind them on the windows that had been heated by the sun. Theseus couldn’t see the floor for all of the chocolate frogs. What idiot child had thought that Albus would be impressed by this? How could he hold a class in here?

Remaining outside, Theseus shut the door and cast a Tempus. Albus would be returning soon. He would need help. He waved his wand, and a shimmering mist came out of it, coalescing into a luminescent German shepherd, sitting at attention with its ears pricked up. “Go to Gellert, tell him, ‘Come quickly. I can’t clean up Albus’ classroom by myself. We have less than 15 minutes.’ Now go!”  
Then Theseus went into the classroom and went to work.

When Gellert arrived two minutes later, Theseus was covered in chocolate frogs. Gellert began laughing. “What happened to you?”  
“These Merlin-cursed frogs are charmed to – I don’t know – greet? Whatever person comes into the room.”  
“Secret admirer?”  
“I think so. I’ve already saved Albus from being completely infatuated with some random person _and_ being put into a coma for a week.”  
Theseus vanished a dozen frogs off the window.

“That might have worked out, actually. By the time he was awake, the love potion would have worn off.”  
“Thank you very much for trivializing my efforts on Albus’ behalf.”  
Gellert laughed again. “You should see yourself!”  
“Are you going to help me with this or not?”

Gellert exploded all of the frogs on the ceiling, sending down a rain of tiny chocolate fragments. Theseus growled.  
“Mmmm… angry with me, Love?” He licked his lips and raised his eyebrows. “Am I - infuriating?”  
Theseus sighed. “Not now, Gellert.”

“Yes, yes. There is work to be done,” Gellert answered with a frown. “As you wish…”  
Gellert tapped his forehead with his wand - a common gesture of his when he was thinking, and one that made Theseus nervous every time. Finally Gellert put the wand away, and Theseus started breathing again. One of these days that idiot was going to Obliviate himself doing that. But not today, thank all the gods.

“Have you noticed? They aren’t attacking me here by the door.”  
“Yes, I think there’s some sort of warding line to keep them from escaping.”  
“Do they disappear if they cross the warding line?  
Oh!

“It is worth a try. I will walk across the line –“  
“And if the frogs disappear –“  
Theseus tried it, but the frogs simply dropped off of him at the ward line and rejoined the others.

Gellert swiped his tongue over Theseus’ cheek.  
“You had a bit of chocolate there.” He sucked Theseus’ lower lip into his mouth. “And there.”  
Theseus shook his head. “I have chocolate everywhere, Gellert.” Gellert’s raised a mischievous eyebrow. “And we don’t have time for you to lick it all off just now.”

Theseus had started by trying to vanish individual frogs, but they were in constant motion, and it was too difficult. Then he had tried creating sections of floor that served as portals of a sort – so that any frog that landed on that area would disappear. But after nearly being pushed into one of these spaces by a swarm of frogs, he cancelled the charms.  
He had tried to cancel the charm that animated the frogs, but discovered that it had been tampered with. Usually chocolate frogs could be counted on to still after 5 or 6 minutes, but these were charmed differently, so that they would not stop moving. Charmed or transfigured? Either way, it was unusually clever magic for a Hogwarts student.

He hated to admit it, but… “The exploding worked best of any strategy so far. Let’s try finishing the job that way, and then we can scourgify after.”  
In another two minutes, the two men were covered head to toe in chocolate, but they had eradicated the frogs.

They were just about to clean up the classroom when…  
“What did the two of you do to my classroom?!!”  
Gellert cut his eyes over to Theseus. Very nice. So much for solidarity.

“So, one of these secret admirers of yours filled your classroom with chocolate frogs…”  
“ _I_ filled my classroom with chocolate frogs, you meddlesome…” Albus interrupted himself to run his tongue up the shell of Theseus’ ear, and Theseus gasped.  
“You had some chocolate…” Albus explained.

Gellert laughed. “Theseus told me we didn’t have enough time to lick it all off, but if you’d like to cancel class…”  
“I’m going to have to. This was my whole lesson plan.”  
Albus’ voice turned quiet and menacing as he turned to Theseus. “I _thought_ that it would be fun for Valentine’s Day, having the fifth-years fight off a horde of chocolate frogs.”

“It was an excellent idea, Love,” Gellert soothed. “Brilliant, creative…” He came close to Albus and tried to embrace him, but Albus stepped away.  
“Do _not_ get chocolate on my suit. I still have to speak to the students. Now into the office with you – both of you.”  
As Theseus started to walk away, he heard Albus’ low growl, “You have a lot to answer for, Grindelwald.”

Gellert followed Theseus into Albus’ office and closed the door behind them.  
“Hmm. Well, I suppose it was an honest mistake.”  
Theseus could hear the smugness in his voice. He turned to shout at him, but even with his back to Gellert, he would have known that he was smirking.

“Gelllert Grindelwald! You _knew_ what Albus was planning!”  
“He may have mentioned something in bed last evening, yes.”  
“And you didn’t tell me?!”  
“Well, how was I to know that that was relevant information?”

Theseus was furious. And turned on. And amused – all at the same time. It was not an unusual way to feel around Gellert. Theseus couldn’t imagine his life without Gellert – his mischief, his intensity, his devotion… his deviousness.

Theseus took a step towards him. He grabbed both of Gellert’s wrists and yanked him closer.  
“Gods! Why do I love you so much?! You're a menace!”  
“I love you, too, handsome,” Gellert said in a light and teasing tone. “Even when you get me into trouble.”  
“ _You_ are the one who got _me_ into trouble.”  
“Let’s agree that we each got ourselves into trouble.”

“Yes,” Theseus said, running one finger down Gellert’s cheek. He looked at his fingertip. Chocolate. Chocolate everywhere. He licked his finger clean, and Gellert’s eyes widened.  
“But you _meant_ for us to get into trouble.”

“Not at all, Love. If you had listened to me…” Gellert leaned in and sucked on Theseus’ neck, then licked it. Theseus involuntarily released a quiet moan and pressed more tightly against Gellert.  
“If you had simply taken the day off,” he murmured, “neither of us would have gotten into trouble.” 

Theseus thought about the love potion and the dormitabis buds. He pulled back and looked at Gellert. How could he not understand?  
“Yes, but Albus would have.”  
“And it would serve him right too. He could benefit from some natural consequences, maybe.”  
Could Gellert be right? It was hard to think clearly with his - ungh! - with Gellert’s hand stroking his cock like that - Merlin -

Theseus lifted one of Gellert’s hands and licked the palm of it. Gellert’s other hand, the one on Theseus’ cock, stilled. Theseus smiled and met Gellert’s eyes. He took one finger, then another between his lips, slowly sucking them into his mouth, stroking them with his tongue. Gellert groaned, and Theseus slowly removed the fingers from his mouth.  
“You had - chocolate there,” he said in a low and raspy voice.

Gellert surged forward and caught Theseus’ mouth with his own, and Theseus felt on fire with need. He could feel Gellert’s cock hard against his own. Albus had better get there soon if he wanted to participate, because Theseus was not going to be able to wait much longer.  
“You knew I wouldn’t listen,” he said in a hoarse whisper. “You meant for this to happen, knew this would happen if you didn’t tell me - you meant for us to be covered in chocolate and for Albus to take the afternoon off.”

Albus shimmered into sight, and with a wave of his hand removed the most soiled bits of Gellert’s and Theseus’ clothing – coats, trousers, shoes. He came up behind Gellert and pressed tightly against him, biting his neck, running his hands down his sides.  
“Yes, I’m quite sure he did, the wicked man. Perhaps we should make him sit over there, tied to my desk chair, unable to find his release, while you and I take care of one another, Theseus. What do you think?”  
Gellert answered, “I think that doesn’t sound like much of a punishment.”  
At the same time, Albus and Theseus replied, “Shut up, Gellert!”

Albus placed his hands on Theseus’ hips, pulling him still tighter against Gellert. Theseus rubbed his cock against Gellert’s - or tried to. By the way Gellert couldn’t seem to decide whether to press forward into Theseus, or back away from him, he concluded that Albus must be rubbing against Gellert too.  
Gellert groaned. “Need –“

Theseus kissed Gellert. Theseus didn’t have to coax his mouth open – he let Theseus’ tongue in readily, eagerly.  
Theseus broke away gasping.  
“I don’t know, Albus. You really think we should tie him up? In this state? Maybe we should let him come first.”  
“You think so?”  
Theseus met Albus’ eyes and smiled wickedly. “No.”

Between the two of them, they dragged Gellert to Albus’ desk chair. (Though in truth, Gellert offered only token resistance.)  
Albus cast an Incarcerous, tying Gellert securely to the chair. Theseus removed Gellert’s tie and kissed him once more before gagging him with it. They all knew that he was perfectly capable of freeing himself, even without the use of his voice, his wand, or his hands, but Theseus understood the appeal of surrendering. Gellert might just need to be at their mercy right now.

“What shall I do to you first, Theseus?” Albus asked, wrapping his arms around Theseus from behind, and licking chocolate off the back of his neck.  
They both looked over at Gellert, who was watching them avidly.  
“I was thinking about what I could do for you, actually, Albus,” Theseus said calmly, turning around, removing Albus’ tie, and throwing it over his shoulder onto Gellert’s lap. “It seems only right. I do owe you an apology, after all.”  
Theseus walked around behind Albus and took his hips in his hands. Then he allowed one hand to drift around to the front, to stroke Albus’ cock through his trousers. He looked over Albus’ shoulder and met Gellert’s eyes. “Perhaps I should bend you over that desk where Gellert is sitting, and fuck you right there, close enough for him to feel your breath on his face.”

Gellert closed his eyes and swallowed. Theseus waited for Gellert to open his eyes. He locked eyes with Gellert and unbuttoned the top two buttons of Albus’ trousers. Then he began pushing Albus ahead of him towards the desk.

Albus turned around and stopped Theseus. “Or I could slowly undress you and lick every bit of skin that I expose,” he said, unbuttoning the top few buttons of Theseus’ shirt and licking his collarbone, making Theseus moan. “Otherwise, how can we be sure that no chocolate worked its way under your clothing?”  
Albus continued to unbutton Theseus’ shirt, kissing his way down his chest… until he was kneeling in front of Theseus, his mouth just below his bellybutton, one finger slipping into Theseus’ pants.

Theseus threw his head back. “Albus – yes!”  
“Yes?”  
“Oh gods, yes. But I want to be sure that Gellert can see, Love.”  
With a wave of his hand, Theseus moved Albus’ desk across the room, leaving Gellert’s view unimpeded.  
Albus vanished Theseus’ pants, exposing Theseus’ cock. Gellert made a strangled noise. Theseus looked at Gellert. Was that arousal? Or - “Are you still alright there, Gellert?”  
Gellert nodded vigorously.

Albus looked over his shoulder. “I don’t know. Perhaps we should put this off for another time. I wouldn’t want Gellert to get too uncomfortable, tied to my chair…”  
Theseus made an impatient sound.  
“Get your mouth back here, Albus Dumbledore! You have been a tease all day!”  
“Now, Theseus,” Albus scolded. “I know that I am not the only one here who cares about Gellert.” Albus stood. “I should go check on him, don’t you think?”  
Gellert made an indignant noise. Clearly, he was as invested in Albus sucking Theseus’ cock as Theseus was himself.

The bastard was punishing them both. Theseus considered that perhaps he should have let Albus fall into that week-long enchanted sleep. Less trouble.

Albus walked over to Gellert. He removed the gag, sat in his lap, and kissed him.  
Albus broke the kiss and stood. “Better?”  
Gellert met Theseus’ eyes. Theseus nodded. Albus was just going to string them both along for as long as he could. That man was capable of teasing them until nightfall, without any one of them getting to come. Their only hope for getting anywhere was for the two of them to take Albus apart together.

“It would be better if I had your cock in my mouth.”  
Albus laid his hand on Gellert’s face, and ran his thumb over Gellert’s lips. Gellert opened and sucked Albus’ thumb in and Albus gasped.  
“That – is – yes! But first, Theseus –“  
“Oh, I think we can take care of you first, Love,” Theseus corrected him. “After all, we did ruin your lesson.”  
Theseus vanished Albus’ trousers, and loosened Gellert’s ropes just enough that he could lean forward a little.

“Closer, Love,” Gellert demanded.  
Theseus pressed tightly against Albus from behind and pushed him closer to Gellert. Taking the base of Albus’ cock in his hand and putting his other hand on the back of Gellert’s head, he directed Albus into Gellert’s mouth.  
Theseus watched Albus’ cock disappear into Gellert’s mouth, and he breathed out Gellert’s name just seconds before Albus shouted it.  
“Gellert! Your mouth! Gods! Yes!”

Theseus had a theory. If Gellert had planned for all of this to happen… He summoned Gellert’s coat from across the room. Sure enough, there was a pot of oil in one of the pockets. Theseus laughed and held it up where Gellert could see it.  
“You sneaky son of a bitch!”  
Gellert removed his mouth from Albus just long enough to complain, “Theseus. Let’s not talk about my mother when we’re having sex.”  
Albus laughed. Gellert’s attention – and his mouth – returned to Albus, and Albus’ laughter was replaced with a moan.

Theseus carefully applied oil to his fingers and to Albus’ hole.  
“Fuck! Theseus! What –“  
“Fucking comes next. One thing at a time, Love.”  
Theseus began stretching Albus slowly. With his other hand he stroked Albus’ balls.

Theseus could tell Albus was getting close. He would prefer a different angle for reaching Albus’ prostate. He removed his fingers and moved so that he was sitting on his heels on the floor, his back to Gellert’s chair. This was better. He reapplied the oil, then reached back and replaced the two fingers that had been in Albus less than a minute before. He found just the right spot inside, and began circling it, increasing the pressure more and more. He swiped Albus’ balls with his tongue, and again, and with a shout, Albus came in Gellert’s mouth.

Theseus cast a cushioning charm and helped Albus down onto the floor. He stroked his hair and promised, “I’ll be right back, Love.”  
He turned to Gellert, and removed the ropes.  
“You still ok?”  
Gellert reached out his arms. “Come here.”

Theseus straddled Gellert and Gellert wrapped his arms around him tightly, then tilted his head up.  
“Want me to kiss you, do you?” Theseus asked, obliging Gellert without waiting for his answer. “Mmmm… Albus…”  
“He does taste good, doesn’t he?” Gellert answered. “I think that it is all of the sugar he eats.”  
Albus laughed from where he was lying on the floor and Gellert and Theseus both turned to look at him.

Gellert turned Theseus’ head and gave him one last kiss. He ran one hand up Theseus’ thigh, and then gave Theseus a light slap right where his hand had stopped..  
“Get up, now. I think that it is your turn to make your apology to Albus. After all, we have been very, very bad husbands.”

**Author's Note:**

> In case you didn't catch it... in this series, Albus Dumbledore does not wear underwear.
> 
> And don't take it for granted that anything Gellert says might constitute good advice. For instance, eating more sugar will not actually make your come taste better. Though there are in fact things you can eat that will make it taste worse.


End file.
